"Pressing On" - Relient K

Its amazing how things change, one minute u think u have things figured out and all the sudden you don't nemore.

So it turns out I never had a chance with this girl. Oh well, I actually feel fairly good now. I don't feel anything for her or any girl right now, nothing remarkable neway. Which is fine by me. The only thing that bothers me is that this will be yet another lonely V-Day for me, not that I'm a stranger to the concept..

Also I'm very proud of Ben today he told the girl he liked how he felt. No word yet if a date or nething of the sort is to occur but from what I hear its promising.

The "Theme Song for Today" is "Pressing On" by Relient K.

Plus I think i might have another girl on the horizon (more on that as it develops)

-matt

"Under Pressure" - Queen

So I'm in relationship limbo as of yesterday night.

"What does that mean?" you may ask yourself, and rightfully so. It means that Jane appears to like me (at least on some level) but there is a hitch in my giddyap. You see there is another guy from Harding, whom I know nothing about and, truthfully, I am content to remain thus. Between what she has told me herself and a little inference on my part, I figure they were talking before I ever came on the scene (so to speak) and that they are fast approaching dating status (though the distance thing makes that fact a little confusing). The agreement we reached is that until everything plays out with her and this harding guy, we will try to get to know each other.

My only real regret in all of this is that I've had a small crush on her since the beginning of gov't last semester and did nothing about it. I wasted and entire semester being so concerned with what one friend thought of her that I didn't go after her. Now it appears I've waited to long.

In semi-related news i made a complete ass of myself in front of her today, when we were prepping for the we the people picture. Brittni wanted me to massage her hip because it was aching and I am a fairly good Masseuse. Well as I was doing that Jane entered the gym James says, "Matt's about to get in trouble," and I go, "What?...Oh!!!" and immediatly sit down and slide away from brittni, but I'm pretty sure Jane saw it if she didn't she knows now, but the testimony of someone who is mentally lacking cannot be used against them in a court of law.

Just after that I made a complete ass of myself to Ms. Cotton. Because she wanted to Go ahead with our We the People picture with about half of the Columbia members missing, and i along with many others began to walk out to ask mister glover to page the rest of the team well apparently Cotton lost it after i left. She swore several times and through a hissy fit. My only response was that I had been trying to do that for a semester and when it finally happens i wasn't around.

Is it just me or are things moving insanely fast as compared to two weeks ago?

Oh and Georgia (my ex-mom) decided to change jobs to make more money but now her schedule might prevent her from seeing Lizzie on her 16th birthday, and even though I don't like Georgia nemore, Liz still loves her, and is trying to be close to her even with all the S--t she has put our family through, and this is how she repays her. makes me sick. She left a voicemail apologizing to Lizzie for it, saying that she just can't afford the to take the trip and get a truck to get her stuff from our house, basically saying she values her stuff as much as (if not more than) Liz. She cried. Lizzie doesn't cry much, she is probably the strongest person I know (when it comes to keeping things together under pressure) and when she does cry its because her heart is breaking over something... and I swear if I ever have to see my sister cry again, because of my mom breaking a promise to her... I don't know what I'll do but it won't be good.

Oh and the "Theme Song for the Day" is the very apt "Under Pressure" by Queen in honor of Lizzie, my little sis..

-matt

"Outta My League" - Stephen Speaks.

The day isn't quite over but i can't help but want to post write now.

Well apparently the reason why i wasnt getting any resposes (see previous post if ur lost) is because her phone was broken, which is a load off my mind i thought it might be sumthing i had done. Neway the day was just wierd not really long or short, i just felt, removed.

At this point I want to introduce a new trend of mine, the "Theme Song for the Day" which will basically be a song that i feel appropriately sums up my feelings for the day.

The "Theme Song for the Day" up until I found out the reason i wasn't being responded to was Puddle of Mudd's "She Hates Me" (some explicit lyrics), but now I'm gonna change it to "Outta My League" by Stephen Speaks.

Well peace guys gotta go finish moving my grandmother in.

-matt

Wiping the dust off.

I know this thing is old but i'm starting to see several friends on here so i decided to start her up again.

I've been through alot in the past week, monday through wednesday, i dealt with alot of extra government meetings in preperation for our "We the People" competition on Friday.

Thursday we left for competition and spent about 4 hours on the bus. Now most of what Lionel, James, Ben, and I did was use our 3rd period IMing system ( a piece of paper we hand around and write on). As the conversation continued Ben revealed that a particular girl on the trip had caught his fancy, and we began to press the issue, and push him, to talk to her, and such. Well during this discussion a particular flutter hit my heart, because i realized I was pressing him to do something with an opportunity we actually shared. For you see there was another girl, on that same bus who had grabbed my attention recently, so I opted to take the advice that i had solicited to Ben and offer it to myself.

To preface that, the girl inparticular (if you have to ask you don't need to know) had been in my government class but thanks to a particular friend of mine, had influenced me to steer clear (against my better judgement). So what changed that suddenly made me not care? The friend in question had recently hooked up with a girl with he had once been in bitter distate. That and the fact that regardless of his opinion I was going to try.

So what attempts did I make? well after some wrangling i texted her some over the course of the trip. But something that really made me feel it was worth continuing, (cuz ben's negative attitude was affecting me) was that (whether by accident or not) we ended up sitting next to each other during most of the proceedings at competition. I imply a lack of accident because her roommate (who i can safely assume knew i was txting her the previous night) called to me as i entered the Representatives chamber and told me to sit in one of two seats in front of her, the other was conveniently occupied by the girl I like.

Her group was second to go and truthfully her nerves got to her (as they did all of us), but she has since blamed herself for single-handedly preventing us from getting 1st place. I did my best to console her but nothing doing. we were soon on the bus headed home.

We resumed our poorman's AIM session (but James soon departed for personal reason's). The topic quickly drifted back to girls and soon to Ben's situation, but I was silent aside from a few agreeances with lionel since i, too, seemed to be lacking any signs of success. Ben quickly pointed out to me that the girl of my interest was sitting alone, and I tried to find some lame reason to go up there and sit next to her but not luck she planned on sleeping.

As the day turned to night we stopped for dinner, she hadn't slept (but no matter). As we returned to the bus, many of the people further up the bus, including the girl I liked and her friend, had begun a stirring game of Truth or Dare to which Lionel and I were witnesses for a time, but we were soon bored (everyone calling 'truth' only held so much entertainment value) so we began to watch Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (one of the greatest movies of all time) and just as it begins, I here her friend call out "Who all is playing," to which Lionel responds "Matt is" knowing full well that i have avoided the game due to "the girl I like's" participation in it. Her friend seizes the opportunity and quickly asks the question which has made many a brave man crumble... "truth or dare?"

Well I am by no means a weak soul but the last thing i wanted to do at that moment was deal with performing a stunt in front of the girl I like, so I took the path more travelled and chose "truth". The question was rather straight forward, " Do you like sum1 on the bus?" to which i responded with a truth full, "its highly possible" and returned to my movie.

Warning!!! the following is the only thing i regret about the entire trip.

Towards the end of the movie the girl I like came back to where i and lionel were sitting, and I'll admit my heart jumped when i realized it but i tried to play it cool, FYI i suck at playing it cool. U see instead of diverting my attention to the girl I like who was now paying special attention to me I opted to watch the movie.(which i could quote by heart), with her watching along, figuring I'll finish it then we'll talk. like I said terrible at playing it cool.

Well the trip soon ended, and realizing (after some discussion with my friends) that i had royally effed up with her I let her know that i was sorry for ignoring her and she said it was alright, but i haven't gotten a single response from her in any way, shape or form to any other forms of communication (txting, calling, myspace), and its been 2 days.

There is no telling what could have happened had that time been put to better use but the past is for history majors and so I press on.

-matt