"Undignified" - Chris Tomlin

Ok so this is my official Winterfest '07 update.

Friday:
We got to church extra early (even with a McDonalds stop) and loaded up our stuff (guitar hero included). I rode up on the "short" bus (the 15 seater) and we watched "Remember the Titans" (one of the be dramedies of all time) and later (with much protest) "High School Musical" ( a movie created to lie to tweens about the high school experience).

Neway we finally made it there and had some time so i hooked up GH2 and it was an instant hit with most of the guys Chalet. We went down to the Hall and had our service for the night (Jeff Walling is truly a master of his craft). then went out to eat (pizza hut cheezy bites pizza!)

Saturday
It is at this point that i will reveal the reason behind the "Theme song for Today" Watershed (the worship leaders) opted to sing "Undignified" by Chris Tomlin but they really shouldn't have. They were throughing off the whole tempo of the song, but i did enjoy the dancing part of it.

The lessons were inspiring we heard about a guy who pressed on for a long time and finally became an astronaut, hows that for a lesson in perserverance, and this other guy who was a 2x Olympic Gold Medalist, who was a great example not only of perserverance but of coachability, and yes that is a technical term.

The most interesting point in this trip (religiously speaking) for me was when a fire alarm went off during a very serious point during our song worship, causing us to evacuate. I was so angry, because Satan will use any means to take people's minds off of the Lord. I actually snapped on my friend (foster) because of it. I don't think that my anger was wrong. It was a righteous anger but I lost control. I talked to Darren (my YM) and he told me that I Satan is just as likely to use me getting angry to take the focus off of God as an alarm. Thankfully the session wasn't cancelled but who knows how many people lost focus in that moment, how many souls were on the verge of making a change in their life that may never do it now.

After we got back to the Chalet, I got a call from Georgia, I've forgiven her, and I'm trying to have a relationship with her even if it isn't as deep as what I had with my mom.

we walked around for a little bit after the lesson and then headed back for a small bit of our yearly wrestling competition Jacob's Club (Jacob wrestled with God in the wilderness) neway i lost but it was to a guy who wrestled for buckhorn and then a guy who is a Grissom Varsity football player (center & lizzie's bf) plus i was tired from the other guy so im not to dissapointed.

Sunday
This is the only part that makes early session a lame thing we had to be up by like 5:30 local time (which is 4:30 CDT) in order to be showered fed and at the hall by 7:00 am local. We got out around 9:00 am local and I realized that church back home hadn't even started yet!! but we walked around for a bit got a bite of real breakfast to eat and headed back to the chalets where i napped amidst games of guitar hero.

around 1 or so i ate lunch and we headed for Winterfest Bowl IV (our yearly Football game) My team lost (after an amazing series of drives though). We weren't allowed to play tackle out of concern for a guy playing who had just had teeth pulled and was on painkillers, but he hurt his wrist within about 15 minutes of kickoff. The only problem with playing 2 hand touch was that the teams had been built with tackle in mind (plus thats where i shine 3 touch downs, with ppl on my back, at Winterfest Bowl III) and so I could accept the loss with a score of 42-56 white team (I wasn't on white team)
.
Monday
We headed home, i rode with my hot tubbin' buds on the big bus slept most of the way, Mr. Gatti's is awesome, except that (in a ironic twist) a group of baptists had beatin us there. For those of you who aren't CoC that is a little running joke we have because we get out about an hour before the baptists do, so we get an earlier choice of restaurants, I hold not hate for the baptist community. It was okay though. We headed home and watched Nacho Libre on the way.

Got back Battery was dead on my car, but I got it jumped no problem.

thats about it, i know this is a rather lack luster summary but I've been tired for several days now I keep having these crazy dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and all the images seem to fade away like a chalk drawing before i can take note of ne of them.

-matt

"High of 75" - Relient K

Lets see,

Alot has happened since i last posted.

Friday, one of my good friends skipped school to handle some family related business, and his girlfriend was having a bad day and opted to go with him. O'rear and crew hunted them like dogs even to the point of grilling another of my friends about it. O'rear seriously has it out for this couple because he wasn't very found of either of them before and now he has a way to get to them. So my frined returned around 12:00 or so and O'rear gave him and his gf 2days inhouse each (mind you most people who skip get 1 day). He got tuesday and wednesday of this week, she got the today and tomorrow. After some more crap, he had to lay low at my house til about midnight and then went home cuz his mom had left for a while and he is the caretaker.

Saturday, well among other things i helped set up a little for the V-day dance, then me lionel isabel and ben went bowling, where i did much better than before, and then Ben and I headed of to the dance. It wasn't too bad, i mostly wandered hung out with friends, and fulfilled my last name by being on the wall (Wall + Flowers = Wallflower). Don't misunderstand i did dance with a few girls, but nothing worthy of note.

Sunday: went to church and darren (the ym at twick) talked read a passage of the Sermon on the Mount stating that we should not make sacrifice to him until we are reconciled with our brothers and sisters, and since im trying to adhear to those teaching in the "red letters" that means i can't take communion until I reconcile with Georgia. it might be a while before that cracker and juice pass my lips again. My only question: how do you reconcile with sum1 who doesn't feel they have wronged you?

Monday: I started to really appreciate being in alg III different lunch i know more ppl in there, plus there is the weird kid Nick Weiner (I didn't always know his name) who always comes by to use the microwave and i noticed that he sits at a table full of people who don't seem like they want him their but they are just to nice to do nething.

Tuesday: My friend wasn't in classes so they were slightly less amusing, 4th period we got bored and watched some of jackass while ben failed in his attempts to flirt with courtney, and he thinks I, not his immature ego but I am the reason. Now I may be kinda flirty now and then but I would never think of courtney like that.

Wednesday: V-day: I had to get something for Brittni's mom because we joke that we are bf and gf (not to mention she had already gotten me something). When I got to school there was a bear and chocolates waiting for me from Barbra which i ate happily. But honestly its kind of a shallow happiness because i actually had hopes of a gift for sum1 else but that had fallen apart much earlier on. Making this day more bitter sweet was that lionel had a very nice gift for isabel, and james and sara likewise. But it could be worse i could have spent alot of money on some1 who was uninterested. Georgia texted me, and I didn't respond still too angry.

Thursday: I had to get up at friggin 6am in order to get breakfast and lizzie to school by 7, for her fieldtrip. I slept in the car until lionel and ben woke me up (via car shake method) i was tired most of the day, in class essay on The Metamorphosis by Kafka in english. More easy work in alg 3, 4th me and james (with little help from courtney and ben) started to rework the robot.

****EDIT****

okay so just after posting origanally i got a very upset phone call from liz ( my little sister) asking why i hadn't picked her up from v-ball practice, cuz she'd been there for an hour alone outside the school in the freezing cold...crying. Though she barely spoke to me most of the ride home i assume the crying was because she felt forgotten, she feels that alot lately, mom was her best friend.

In my defense I thought that lizzie was going to call me when she was ready. However, she had called dad who thought i was headed out the door when he gave me gas money ( a fair assumption), so he told her i was on my way, which i of course wasn't.

Despite my want for the awkward car ride home to end, i still needed gas to make it to church the next day in order to leave for winterfest, and as early as i need to get up i knew i wouldn't have time in the morning. So i go in pay the man 3 dollars for gas (and i feel like a douchebag cuz thats less than 2 gals of gas), and head back out I pump my gas in the freezing cold and get in the car. Well my keys were missing i immediately think "Where did i have them last?" to which i respond "I don't friggin know" so for the next 30-60 minutes i retrace my steps i don't know how many times, while attempting to call dad while lizzie sits bundled in a blanket not helping at all. Well my dad and granny arrive (2 seperate cars) granny takes liz sumwhere (they weren't home when i got here) and I and my dad search. finally he finds them under lizzie's sit in an area she claims to have checked.

Neway I'm home now haven't packed for winterfest, haven't prepared my Winterfest bowl T-shirt for football on Sunday, haven't eaten dinner, can't find my ipod charger, and haven't finished laundry. It's gonna be a long night.

Oh Btw the "Theme Song for Today" is "High of 75" by Relient K, because it contains the line "And lately the weather has been so bipolar and consequently so have I."

-matt

"Broken Promises" - Element Eighty

Ok, last night i was sitting in church and we were all singing and suddenly i started thinking about Georgia. I started thinking about all the things she has done to me, to my family. I thought about how i should do the "Christian" thing and forgive her, but that just made me think of all the horrible things she has done.

I started to get a headache. the juxtaposition of my memories of my mom and my knowledge of her transformation to Georgia is too much, and all the sudden i started crying. everyone around me is praising God and I can't even focus all I can do is cry about the fact that I don't have a mother anymore.

Why is it that I can't seem to completely seperate my mom and Georgia in my head? Its as though in every memory of my mom I can see Georgia, and in every thought about Georgia i can see my mom. I have to make this seperation. My mom is dead. Georgia took her from me. I feel like such a weak person for saying this, but... I miss my mom.

The "Theme Song for today" is "Broken Promises" by Element Eighty.

-matt

"Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva

So i haven't updated since wednesday, not much to report though.

Traded calc for alg 3/stats, and independent study for yearbook. Im lovin' it, i took a test on stuff i had no review for and im pretty sure i got atleast an 85.

Spent the bulk of saturday, with lionel, isabel and ben, first bowling on the arsenal (I'm never bowling newhere else ever again) then went to lionel's house for a few insane rounds of guitar hero (lionel v luis, me v ben) and then an intense game of pictionary. After going home I wrapped up the night with a late night taco bell run w/ joe.

Sunday went to church, then BK (texas double whopper = man food), after which me, joe, chase, and bobby officially started Chubby Smiley Face Productions kicking it off with a private screening of our jacob's club preview video after the super bowl.

Lizzie (my sister) has her 16th coming up and I hope me and dad can do sumthing even kinda nice for her.

The "Theme Song for Today" is: "Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva. cuz its on the radio as i right this and it friggin rocks.

"Pressing On" - Relient K

Its amazing how things change, one minute u think u have things figured out and all the sudden you don't nemore.

So it turns out I never had a chance with this girl. Oh well, I actually feel fairly good now. I don't feel anything for her or any girl right now, nothing remarkable neway. Which is fine by me. The only thing that bothers me is that this will be yet another lonely V-Day for me, not that I'm a stranger to the concept..

Also I'm very proud of Ben today he told the girl he liked how he felt. No word yet if a date or nething of the sort is to occur but from what I hear its promising.

The "Theme Song for Today" is "Pressing On" by Relient K.

Plus I think i might have another girl on the horizon (more on that as it develops)

-matt

"Under Pressure" - Queen

So I'm in relationship limbo as of yesterday night.

"What does that mean?" you may ask yourself, and rightfully so. It means that Jane appears to like me (at least on some level) but there is a hitch in my giddyap. You see there is another guy from Harding, whom I know nothing about and, truthfully, I am content to remain thus. Between what she has told me herself and a little inference on my part, I figure they were talking before I ever came on the scene (so to speak) and that they are fast approaching dating status (though the distance thing makes that fact a little confusing). The agreement we reached is that until everything plays out with her and this harding guy, we will try to get to know each other.

My only real regret in all of this is that I've had a small crush on her since the beginning of gov't last semester and did nothing about it. I wasted and entire semester being so concerned with what one friend thought of her that I didn't go after her. Now it appears I've waited to long.

In semi-related news i made a complete ass of myself in front of her today, when we were prepping for the we the people picture. Brittni wanted me to massage her hip because it was aching and I am a fairly good Masseuse. Well as I was doing that Jane entered the gym James says, "Matt's about to get in trouble," and I go, "What?...Oh!!!" and immediatly sit down and slide away from brittni, but I'm pretty sure Jane saw it if she didn't she knows now, but the testimony of someone who is mentally lacking cannot be used against them in a court of law.

Just after that I made a complete ass of myself to Ms. Cotton. Because she wanted to Go ahead with our We the People picture with about half of the Columbia members missing, and i along with many others began to walk out to ask mister glover to page the rest of the team well apparently Cotton lost it after i left. She swore several times and through a hissy fit. My only response was that I had been trying to do that for a semester and when it finally happens i wasn't around.

Is it just me or are things moving insanely fast as compared to two weeks ago?

Oh and Georgia (my ex-mom) decided to change jobs to make more money but now her schedule might prevent her from seeing Lizzie on her 16th birthday, and even though I don't like Georgia nemore, Liz still loves her, and is trying to be close to her even with all the S--t she has put our family through, and this is how she repays her. makes me sick. She left a voicemail apologizing to Lizzie for it, saying that she just can't afford the to take the trip and get a truck to get her stuff from our house, basically saying she values her stuff as much as (if not more than) Liz. She cried. Lizzie doesn't cry much, she is probably the strongest person I know (when it comes to keeping things together under pressure) and when she does cry its because her heart is breaking over something... and I swear if I ever have to see my sister cry again, because of my mom breaking a promise to her... I don't know what I'll do but it won't be good.

Oh and the "Theme Song for the Day" is the very apt "Under Pressure" by Queen in honor of Lizzie, my little sis..

-matt

"Outta My League" - Stephen Speaks.

The day isn't quite over but i can't help but want to post write now.

Well apparently the reason why i wasnt getting any resposes (see previous post if ur lost) is because her phone was broken, which is a load off my mind i thought it might be sumthing i had done. Neway the day was just wierd not really long or short, i just felt, removed.

At this point I want to introduce a new trend of mine, the "Theme Song for the Day" which will basically be a song that i feel appropriately sums up my feelings for the day.

The "Theme Song for the Day" up until I found out the reason i wasn't being responded to was Puddle of Mudd's "She Hates Me" (some explicit lyrics), but now I'm gonna change it to "Outta My League" by Stephen Speaks.

Well peace guys gotta go finish moving my grandmother in.

-matt